Navy Modifies Old Ship To Meet 12 Carrier Fleet

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In light of habits as of late, like the Navy's recommissioning of the USS Kitty Hawk, the Navy has chosen to make a very bold move to reach it's goal of a 12 carrier fleet. On June 31 2017, the USS Constitution will assume carrier status in the US Navy's fleet.

Many U.S. key leaders have stated that the announcement of the Navy's plan for a 12 carrier fleet was "unreachable", "too costly", "could not happen without creating matter from nothing", "can you shit boats out of your ass", "who put you up to this, petty officer", and "why?" Then, the Navy asked each of them to hold their beer.

As the USS Constitution is by far too small in it's current form, the US Navy called in a special team of SeaBees to work on modifying the old and sub-par ship to get it up to snuf with the rest of the modern carriers of the fleet. In a remarkable act of brilliance and timing, the team of Combat Builders had completed the modifications in the first day. Master Chief Squidward observed the boat, laid one large slab of plywood on the ship's deck, punched 20,000 nails into it and attached a 10 year old Window Air Conditioning Unit to the side of it, then finally approved the modifications. The operation took exactly 16 hours to accomplish with a team of 14 SeaBees.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Jun 2017