ParadiseMan Found Brutally Murdered in Home
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(Paradise, NV) - A local Nevada man was found deceased in his home this morning after a neighbor reported a car remaining in the driveway. Inside the victim was found in his living room deceased, drained of blood with his limbs across the room.
While too early to say, officials reported his time of death as late Sunday evening.
When asked for comment, examiners had this to say:
"The style of the killer was truly astonishing, it appears as if the victim was brutally torn apart from the comfort of his own home. In a style of lynching unseen in the past century."
Investigators also noted the man had excessive amounts of caffeine in his system and an episode of the latest Twin Peaks playing on repeat.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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