Funeral Home Lobbying Group Pushing for Obamacare Repeal
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U.S. Capitol (AP) -- The lobbying group that represents the 48,622 funeral homes across the U.S. is pushing congress hard to repeal and not replace Obamacare. According to the group, since the adoption of Obamacare their businesses have lost millions in mortuary services. Some estimate that it is off as much as 15 to 20.
This slowdown in sales has many funeral home operators worried, but funeral director Ernie Oshka of Willomena, Mississippi said he wasn't worried at all. "The ACA (Obamacare) might have slowed down the death rate for the marginal in our society but death is a sure thing so we'll get'em eventually. The market is certain.", said Oshka.
Other operators are not so sure. According to Joe Digmeahole of Wampawamma, New York, owner of Budget Funerals, "This was a great business to be in and it has been booming since the financial crisis of 2008. Then Obamacare came along and took us into slow times. Obama really destroyed our industry."
Destiny Fairchild, a funeral home operator in Kansas, had to close her parlor dues to a lack of sales. "We used to could count on a funeral every other day. At the end we were lucky if we could get one in a week". Destiny's funeral home even partnered with a local used car dealer, 'Low Ball Tony', and offered a special if you had two funerals in a year you would receive a used car.
The mortuary industry is optimistic that Trump, being an understanding business leader, will do the right thing and make sure the marginal, uninsured people in our society die at a faster rate. Allan Akin, Society of Mortuaries President, told us, "We need to get the rate back up. Obama didn't understand business but Trump will make sure we have all the customers we need. We are certain of it".
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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