As Summer Heats Up, So Does Carroll County Detailing Rivalry

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Two underworld families are under investigation for gang crimes.

This small, rural town located in the heart of Ohio, is home to two powerful underworld car detailing families.

Chris and David (last names withheld) are each rival gang leaders in the shady world of car detailing. We reached out to them to better understand how things work in this ungoverned, cash business.

Chris told us the grimy story of his upbringing in a car detailing household. "My family has been detailing in this town since it was first settled back in 1849. We are the original detailers, and we will do whatever it takes to stay on top". We asked him to elaborate, but he declined to comment further on that subject.

In 1849, they were known as the Cannonsburg Gamble, and you didn't dare cross them. "I remember my grandfather telling me about a guy who had his horse buggy detailed by an out of town detailer in Magnolia, so he and the boys paid him a little visit. Covered his buggy in mud. He got the message!" Underworld tactics are not new to Chris. He told us about sabotaging his rival, David. "I've replaced his 'Fireball Wheel Cleaner' with lake water, and switched the fabric on his coating applicator with fine grit sandpaper". It seems nothing is beneath them.

We reached out to David for his reaction. "Chris is a poor detailer, and uses inferior, homemade products". It was obvious from the beginning, David wasn't holding back. "My family has run this towns detailing business since 1889. My grandfather could detail two buggies to his grandfathers one, and do twice as good a job". It seems these families have a long, sorted history.

David went on to elaborate, "Chris uses homemade products, which are a far less quality than the PDP products I use". David goes on to tell us about run ins between his crew and Chris. "For example, last week Chris hit us with a drive-by mooning. It left a few of my crew rattled". Chris told us his side of the story, "David is mistaken. My crew was nowhere in the area when it happened. And if it did happen, it might have been because David and his crew stole a long time customer, but I'm not saying that's what happened, of course".

Our hope is one day these two families can come together and put their differences aside for the sake of the town and it's people. As for this reporter, I'll be sure not to have my car detailed outside of Dellroy.

Sheriff Dale Williams couldn't be reached for comment before printing of this article.

Reporter: Malcome Holcomb

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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