Dellroy man reveals plan to parlay moonshine profits into go-cart racing league

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Jonathan W J Ward of Dellroy was recently handed the keys to the city for his efforts to keep moonshine supplied to the shut-in residents of Lawrence Township. During his acceptance speech, Mr. Ward revealed his plan to launch a go-cart racing league aimed at developing minors into top notch "shine runners" for his booming business.
"Business is good. Real good" said Mr. Ward. "I need more cars running shine, but nobody in this area is qualified. So after watching my sons racing their homemade go carts around the yard, it hit me. Kids can be trained real easy! They already love driving go carts, and will work for candy. It's a brilliant idea, really."
When pressed for more income related information, and how he planned to finance the operation, Mr.Ward ran off into a wooded area yelling, "I'm not going to jail for you or anybody!"
As far as the future of employment in Dellroy, this reporter will sleep well knowing that Jonathan W J Ward has everything under control.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Jul 2017