Dog's And Humans Can Now Be Married!

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Washington state and house officials approved a bill that we leave your head spinning!

One Hundred Fifteenth Congress
of the United States of America

AT THE FIRST SESSION

Begun and held at the City of Washington on Tuesday,
the third day of January, two thousand and seventeen

To approve the Animal and Human Marriage Law which was proposed back in 2002. Health Affairs will be responsible for coordinating the efforts of the Department of Animal Child Support and assistance related to food, agriculture, and veterinary defense against terrorism, and for other purposes.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the “Securing our Animal and Human Love”.

SEC. 2. COORDINATION OF FOOD, AGRICULTURE, VETERINARY DEFENSE AGAINST TERRORISM, AND HUMAN/ANIMAL FORNICATION.


(a) In General.—Title V of the Human Animal Act of 2002 (6 U.S.C. 311 et seq.) is amended by adding at the end the following new section:

“SEC. 528.

“(a) Program Required.—The Secretary, acting through the Assistant Secretary for Animal Health Affairs, shall carry out a program to coordinate the Department’s efforts related to defending the food, animal child support, agriculture, and veterinary systems of the United States against terrorism and other high-consequence events that pose a high risk .

“(b) Program Elements.—The coordination program required by subsection (a) shall include, at a minimum, the following:

“(1) Providing oversight and management of the Department’s responsibilities pursuant to Animal Food Stamps (Snap), Presidential Directive 9–Defense of United States Agriculture and Food.

“(2) Providing oversight and integration of the Department’s activities related to veterinary public health, food defense, and agricultural security.

“(3) Leading the Department’s policy initiatives relating to food, animal, and agricultural incidents, and the impact of such incidents on animal and public health.

“(4) Leading the Department’s policy initiatives relating to overall domestic preparedness for and collective response to agricultural terrorism.

“(5) Coordinating with other Department components, including U.S. Customs and Border Protection, as appropriate, on activities related to food and agriculture security and screening procedures for domestic and imported products.

“(6) Coordinating with appropriate Federal departments and agencies.

“(7) Other activities as determined necessary by the Secretary.

“(c) Rule Of Construction.—Nothing in this section may be construed as altering or superseding the authority of the Secretary of Agriculture or the Secretary of Health and Human And Animal Services.”.

(1) by striking the items relating to sections 523, 524, 525, 526, and 527; and

(2) by inserting after the item relating to section 522 the following:

“Sec. 523. Guidance and recommendations.
“Sec. 524. Voluntary private sector preparedness accreditation and certification program.
“Sec. 525. Acceptance of gifts.
“Sec. 526. Integrated public alert and warning system modernization.
“Sec. 527. National planning and education.
“Sec. 528. Coordination of Department of Homeland Security efforts related to food, agriculture, and veterinary defense against terrorism.”.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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