Camels May Lead To Increased Health Risks
Monday 14 June 2059 89880 Shares
Camel farmers in the US are finding out just how badly their lives can be affected by keeping close proximity with their hump-backed charges. Those managing the foul beasts have noticed increased rubbernecking from neighbors, decreased social interactions with the community, and, in rare cases, severe health risks.
Texas camel rancher, Doug Baum, says, "My dentist told me his aunt Ethel rode a camel in Turkey and it spit on her. She came home with syphilis. Now I'm afraid to go out to the barn." Likewise Jason Mayfield of Montana, owner of four hundred and twenty camels, adds, "Since beginning my camel business, my beard is almost as long as my camel's. Something must be wrong." Having owned camels longer than anyone else in the US, Jim Hale says, "My tin foil hat has even failed me. Government agents are starting to get through to my brain and I'm sure the camel slobber on it is deteriorating it."
And there's more. Meanguy McHateseverything says camels are key players in the war on Christmas. "I saw three guys pretending to be nobleman from the East riding them stinky things at a live nativity last year. Scared me so much when they came around the corner it made me sterile." He continues, "Even saw one of them toss a king. My daughter saw this. How am I supposed to explain to my daughter that camels hate Jesus?"
Despite all the public backlash against camels, farmers still aren't dumping the hump any time soon. Mayfield states emphatically, "I gave up a million dollar a year meth business to follow my dream. What am I supposed to do? I can't smoke these camels."
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