Darbey Schultz of Canton will be first man on Mars.

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Darbey Schultz of Canton, Ohio will be the first human on Mars. Mr. Schultz, in collaboration with Elon Musk and Mark Shuttleworth of Canonical.

Space cowboys Musk, Shuttleworth and Schultz live life beyond the clouds. The trio is know world wide as the 3 Musketeers of Space have been working tirelessly perfecting the S.S. Cathedral, a ship capable of travel to Mars. Some at Darbey's home church says he's so heavenly minded that he should fit right in.

"We decided to let Darbey be the first one out." Said Mr. Musk in an interview with Space Times and NASA early this morning. Mr Shuttleworth added, "he has added so much to the development of mankind, it would be an insult for one of us to step out first"

Schultz was unavailable for comment, he kept mumbling about old bay and eating sea food.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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