BREAKING NEWS: Jesus Admits He really can't save you and has been living off gullible followers for years when taking their tithes as money.

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In a stunning announcement, Jesus Christ admits everything about him was all a hoax. Jesus said: " Verily, Verily I say unto you that I am a false idol who was jealous of the mighty YAHUAH who is the one true Elohim of Israel and creator and ruler of the universe." Truth seeking authorities expect his partners in crime namely Allah, Buddha, Osiris, Mary, Isis, Black Jesus and many others to hopefully come forward.

When asked about this stunning " revelation" the apostle Paul simply shook his head and said "It was good while it lasted and now the gig is up." While many church authorities were taken back temporarily, in a stunning turn of events : billions of Christians have forgiven Jesus and have decided to turn the other check and still worship him regardless. The twelve disciples and the Pope could not be reached for comment.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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