Local ReporterMalcome Holcomb Arrested

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Late last night Carroll County native and local up and coming reporter named Malcome Holcomb was arrested on an OVI charge off of State Route 542 in between Dellroy and Magnolia. According to statements from local law enforcement a visibly impaired Mr. Holcomb stated at the time of his arrest that he had convinced some of the crew from HGTV to follow him to recent Sasquatch and UFO sightings spots. Where many alcoholic beverages and some of the marijuanas had been consumed by Mr. Holcomb.
Members of the HGTV crew that we spoke to about the events couldn't help but laugh. The film crew were more than happy to get this on tape. One crew member, Dixie Normus, said "he kept going on and on about all of these bigfoot sightings, he even claimed that he saw the bigfoot driving a boat out of the East Marina. Something about the Floating Tiki, we weren't really sure because the slur was something we had never heard before." Mrs. Normus continued by saying "after about an hour of listening to this drunken jibberish we asked if he had anything else besides alcohol tonight." The response we heard from Dixie was shocking to say the least. According to her statement Mr. Holcomb said he had consumed three of the marijuanas and that if they didn't have some as well then the Aliens were going to abduct them."
When we asked the crew about the video they got of Mr Holcomb they allowed this reporter to see the shocking footage. Video Evidence shows the crew caught up with Mr. Holcomb at around 9 pm at the local male topless bar. Filmed footage showed a highly intoxicated Malcome uncomfortably flirting with co-owner Chris Gamble. He kept calling him my favorite squatch. We believe that Mr Holcomb has an obsession with Mr. Gamble leading to his Sasquatch delusions.
Cameras recorded hours of footage with Mr Holcomb in some very compromising situations. Authorities are currently reviewing the tapes, in disgust i may add, and have said they have no doubt that Mr. Holcomb will be headed for a series of mental health evaluations after his arraignment. This was refreshing news to the few locals I have had the opportunity to question about Mr. Holcomb and his recent behavior. Sharon Peters stated "He came to interview me while my daughters were in Florida to ask about my son-in-law Dan and his connection to Sasquatch." She continued by saying "You could tell this guy was high on something besides life. My best guess was it was a deadly combination of the marijuanas and something the kids are calling "cheesing" these days."
This is a breaking story and we will have more updates as soon as Mr. Holcomb is out of court tomorrow.

Author: Willie Stroker

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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