De Leon Woman Suing Guinness over Rejected Record Claim

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 73021 Shares

Darla Hudson of De Leon, TX is suing Guinness for rejecting her claim to hold a world record. An anonymous spokesman for Guinness reports that the current record holder, Mr. Graham Barker of Perth, Australia, has been collecting his own belly button lint for 26 years and has saved a total of 22.1 g (.78 oz). While Hudson has collected a total of 1.8 oz since April 2014, Guinness states that her claim for the record is invalid because it was collected from multiple people. Hudson claims that she started off only collecting her own, but soon it became an obsession and she began collecting it from random strangers she encountered in public. She laments that the growth rate of her collection has slowed considerably due to multiple restraining orders against her.
When asked about her collection, Hudson's husband stated, "I know it's a strange hobby, but it takes the guesswork out of gift-giving occasions."
Hudson's hobby has taken a toll on her private life. Her legal bills are mounting as she fights allegations of child abuse for making her children wear sweatshirts year-round to increase production. She reports that with the addition of the lawsuit against Guinness, it is about to bankrupt her.
To add to her woes, tragedy struck on April 9, 2014 when embers from a cigarette ignited her collection, destroying all of it. At that time her collection was a mere .6 oz, but Hudson states that it was enough that the smoke from it made her entire house smell like a dirty sock for weeks. She is being more careful with her collection now by keeping it in a fire-resistant safe. Her goal is to acquire at least one pound by April 9, 2019, the five year anniversary of the tragedy.
After her loss, Hudson turned to the online community for help. The response has been astounding, with donors sending their belly button lint from all over the world. She now has samples from 37 nations on 6 continents, and is currently planning an excursion to Antarctica to see if penguins have belly buttons.
If you would like to contribute to the cause, mail your belly button lint to:
Darla Hudson
c/o General Delivery
De Leon, TX, USA
76444

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.