Butler Eagle Rumors "Night of the Living Dead" Events are True Confirmed Today by Mars Pa residents

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Saturday 03 December 2059 94046 Shares

Butler Eagle
July 21st, 2017

Romors that the events depicted in the iconic class Night of The Living Dead are true has been confirmed by area residents.
One resident owned the farm that the zombies were destroyed, he has not been able to plant crops since the napalm bombing.
A Mars Pa resident confirmed that her bother held a zombie hostage and used as a sex toy for 2 weeks
Another Mars Pa resident was an eyewitness to the attacks. She was a child when the events unfolded, and provided an account.
Beth Nye works at Direct Wholesale Apparel in Mars and was 10 when the zombies attacked her school. Her teacher was one of the ones that were bitten. Ironially, the teacher threw a child at zombies and slipped do so, she was then attacked.
Said Ms Nye,"We was in school when they attacked. The teacher got it first, then the custodian. He broke a broom and was fighting them like a Ninja with a bloody headband on, then they swarmed him. He screamed choke on it Charlie before dying. The chlidren scattered and ran home. I passed downtown on the way and saw them attacking other people. One grabbed me and I was saved by Mr Clemons who owned the drug store. We hid in the back and he called my parents. He had 3 other kids in there too. We were all so scared. We were there until night when we saw a bright flash outside and fire all over a field. They said there were only a couple but thats not true. They were still killing them up til 2 weeks later in the woods. My dad killed one on our farm and hung it up like a scarecrow to scare the others away. It hung there all summer. They were not like the zombies in the movies. These ones could run and made noises. The military came and told us we would be better off never telling anyone or we would face the consequences and disappear. they bought Pa a new cow and tractor. Mars downtown was revitalized and thats why downtown is so big and booming today. Nobody said nothing cause we were scared they would kill us off. They took away alot of people that were bit and we never saw them again."
She shared a picture her father had taken of the event.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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