Trump Questions USS Constitution Upgrades
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 57289 Shares
As the USS Constitution prepares to leave drydock after refurbishment, President Trump is questioning the necessity of many of the recent upgrades of the 200 year old ship that were approved by the previous Obama administration.
In a Fox News intervie with Sean Hannity, Trump asked "is it really good stewardship of taxpayer money to remove the cannons and outfit the USS Constitution with a multi million dollar sea launched Aegis Ballistic Missile System as approved by the Obama Administration?" The ship also received millions of dollars in stealth upgrades as part of the refurbishment.
Congressional supporters of the Constitution's upgrade argued venemently to give the ship new life....although Maxine Waters readily admitted "when they said they wanted to gut and redo the Constitution I thought they meant that other one, you know...that other document that keeps being a pain in my ass."
Trump also questioned the award of the Constition's stealth upgrade contract to the then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's brother Tony Rodham....the man who rebuilt Haite. Clinton argues that her brother was more than qualified to perform the work after his massive contribution to Haite. Rodham is renowned for his Haite work after their 2010 earthquake that destroyed much of the country. After the earthquake, Rodham was contracted to build affordable housing for the thousands of diaplaced Haitians. He spearheaded the building of 3 Haitian homes on a measley $97 million budget, much of which came from the Clinton Foundation. When asked about the lack of visible stealth additions to the USS Constitution Rodham replied "that's because you can't even see it...that is how good the stealth is."
With completion of the refurbishment, the ship leaves dry dock today. Once floating, Chuck Schumer will then join the ship wearing a pirate costume and eye patch and just act himself. President Trump has argued banning democrats from boarding the ship as it risks the ship sinking....just like their party.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.