Chatham Ontario selected to build the world's largest umbrella
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 98544 Shares
An umbrella the size of a city is going to be constructed in Chatham, Ontario. City officials announced the new infrastructure will keep all Chatham residents dry in the case of rain. The excess water will run off towards farms located nearby. "It's a win-win", said the Chatham mayor, "we are looking at removing our city's drainage system by the end of the year."
One farmer took to social media with his approval. "It's about time we got some benefits of being a part of Chatham-Kent. Do you know how thirsty cows get?", said Fred, who owns 2000 acres of farmland on the outskirts of Chatham.
The estimated cost of the umbrella is only $500. "We learned how to build them in China", said Chatham's mayor. "It will be darker during the day, so we are passing a bylaw that fines residents who squint during daylight hours because it just isn't respectful to the umbrella."
Construction should be completed soon in the bustling city. The 5th Street bridge will hold the new umbrella. "We didn't announce it until today, because we wanted it to be a surprise to our residents", the mayor said, "Chatham will lead the world on water conservation. What a waste of taxpayers money to see it go down the drain."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.