Local man rewards friends after patriotic act
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On the early morning of September 20th, a man claims he was woken by the sound of what was unknown. We had the chance to catch up with this man, and here is what he had to say: "Ima be honest with you, it sounded like a fat girl stubbed her toe. I immediately grabbed my 12 gauge and ran for the steps to see what I could find."
Adam Porter, 27 of Collingdale said he has heard this noise before, but was playing it safe because "that's what Americans do." Adam claims he headed down the steps, he broke down the sight he saw: "Honestly I wasn't surprised, not the first time I have seen this. Usual he (Dan Wachter, 27 of Eddystone) brings them inside, today was a different story. He had her pinned to the ground, full blown wedgie screaming TRUMP".
Porter explained to us that the noise he had heard before was that of an overweight woman being courted up the stair by 'Wac', but this time he was just giving her a wedgie for her extreme left, feminist views. Porter courteously helped the woman to her safe space and the altercation came to and end. The two brave Americans are safe and sound.
As more details unfold, we will keep you posted. As always, keep continuing to Make American Great Again.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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