Drive-By Shooting On A Closed Down Blockbuster Leads Police To Orlando Resident

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Early Thursday morning, around 3am, Orlando police received a 911 call claiming sounds of gunshots near Orange Blossom Trail. Police arrived to find the confusing scene of a once thriving, but now bankrupt Blockbuster storefront had been littered with bullets.

After a few hours of investigation, the discovery of a cut off pair of jean shorts led the police to local resident Michael Scott's home nearby. Scott sobbingly plead guilty to the crime through a series of whale-like moans. He claimed that this was an act of rage after losing a bidding match for one of the few remaining The Little Mermaid VHS tapes.

Scott(Ebay Username: VaginalHairShaman) lost the bidding war at a whopping $300 around 2am. He then decided to use the money to purchase a firearm from a sketchy homeless man behind a Winn-Dixie near the expired Block Buster store. Scott faces 2 years in the county jail and a $5000 fine.


Lead Reporter: Busch Hawg

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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