Ridgeview High School Teacher Busted for Illegal Underground Snail Racing
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 38473 Shares
Local High School Teachers, Kyle Webster and Sam Yoon, were apprehended on the morning of September 22, 2017 for illegally racing snails. Underground snail racing is illegal in the U.S., the UK, and parts of Russia. The races date back to the age of cavemen and originated in the what is now known as the country of Australia. Snail races have been linked throughout history. In World War II, Adolf Hitler held one of the greatest underground snail races on April 5, 1941. What few people do not know is that some of the world leaders including Joseph Stalin, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and even Benito Mussolini attended the what is know as Schneckenrennen, or Snail Racing. Snail Racing is a big problem in U.S. and has torn families apart. The races are also causing snails to be very aggressive which goes very much against their true nature. Snail races have spread across the world like a disease.
Ex President George W. Bush said in his speech at the UN meeting that his team of private investigators have established that underground snail races are a direct link to Alquaeda and was deemed Illegal in the U.S. for being linked to Terrorism. In 2011 when president Barack Obama authorized the order to kill Osama Bin Laden, Seal team 6 also found that he was breeding genetically modified snails that would make U.S. snails look like grass growing race. He almost had what he needed to hurt the U.S. economy to the point of another great depression until we got him.
The two teachers are facing life in prison and a fine up to $10.73. The authorities stated that they have no idea how deep this goes and a investigation will be conducted.
-
Seamor butts
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.