A Colorado man almost dies from drinking a Dublin Ice Tea

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 57733 Shares

A Colorado man almost died Sunday morning while drinking what he thought was a Dublin ice tea. Michael Johnson of Frederick Colorado is in serious but stable condition today after drinking 1040 Pennzoil motor oil. Mr. Johnson was completely demolished in a drinking contest on Wednesday while cruising on the harmony of the seas cruise ship. Mr. Johnson was completely devastated after losing a drinking contest to the famous and world-renowned actor Darrel Smith from Hush Money. The Dublin iced tea was made world-famous after mr. Smith won the contest on Wednesday. Mr. Johnson made a Promise to himself that he would never lose a drinking contest again. Mr. Johnson accidentally mistakend the 10 40 Pennzoil for a Dublin Ice Tea. Mr. Johnson took a very large drink and was so startled by the taste that he jumped out of his chair catching his left testicle on the chairs arm ripping his testicle off. However on the positive side doctors believe they can reattach the left testicle. But they stated his right testicle which has been carried in his wife's purse for over 12 years is too far gone and will not be able to be reattached.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.