Northeast Team Dominates, Wins Teambuilder Day

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October 2, 2017

Charleston, SC - A mostly Charleston-based, amazing sales team has prevailed once again. Team Northeast, the most highly respected sales team at Blackbaud, closed over $300,000 in business on the final day of September to claim the coveted Teambuilder Day award.

"It was a long fought battle honestly, " exclaimed Jacqueline Gantt. "All while I was pretty sick wiht a nasty sinus infection. But worth it!"

According to the official forecast and betting lines, Team Northeast was an underdog going into the final day of the month. Craig Suppin said it best: "You know, sometimes you just have to put on your big boy panties and get down to business."

The team won a similar competition in June, so there was some concern that they couldn't pull off the victory twice in a row. "Yeah, like, it's a pretty big deal" bragged Amanda Collins over a stiff vodka cocktail. "Even the remote reps like myself and Aleks Foldats stepped up when we were needed most."

As a prize for winning the competition, Team Northeast will be choosing a workday to play hooky. Because the female members of the team sold more than the men, the ladies will be choosing the teambuilding activity. When asked about the exact plans, Leah Chalfant said "We're gonna do something awesome. All the ladies are talking about a team drag race...or maybe a day of trust falls on the roof."

At Blackbaud this morning, there's a feeling of success and euphoria on the sales floor. "Winning. That's just what we do," laughed Shellie Koepcke with a cherry danish in both hands.

The final two team members, Stephen Foster and Charlie Haislip were unavailable for comments. "Those guys?" asked Leah. "They were so upset about losing to the ladies that I bet they're crying in their Bloody Marys right now."

"I couldn't be more proud of this team!" exclaimed overly-excited-and-novice manager, Daniel Messervy, in between games of desk cornhole. "It's simply great news."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Oct 2017