State of Ohio Orders Hotels Open to Wildlife

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In a bizarre move today, Governor Kasich passed legislation that orders all 4,731 Ohio hotels and motels to provide lodging for wildlife when temperatures reach freezing or below. Such hotels will be reimbursed their standard lodging fees in these cases and are encouraged to put several animals of the same or similar species in a room in order to save tax payers money. It remained unclear as to how or even if lodging would be available for fish.
Officials at ODNR first approached Kasich with the idea after several pet owners who had been cited for leaving pets and livestock outside during the winter filed a countersuit claiming the State, who claims ownership of all wild animals and fish, did not offer the same protections the civilians were required to. "Having an obvious two tiered legal system was a detriment to law and order in Ohio," said Kasich, "we don't want to give that impression."
When asked by a reporter if it may just be easier on everyone if the state minded their business and civilians minded their own, Kasich replied, "That's crazy talk, this is a government matter and we will not be confined to the silly trappings of common sense, no more questions".

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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