Look out Ohio! WANTED
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Look out Ohio. We here at The Tribune have been tipped off that Thomas J Hoffard aka Thomas Jabin Haberberg . A wanted Isreali that has not been seen in 7 years .We have reports of a Israeli extremist Thomas Haberberg in or around central Ohio. The lady I spoke to wished to remain anonymous said,"I could tell he was different he had a eastern accent and very heavy demeanour. I felt completely horrified just being in his presents and I didn't even know he was a wanted extremist .He just had this look you like date rape face ". I asked if she felt safe at home she said ,"would you? Being stared down as if you where to be killed and raped ." I spoke also to the caller who called who only wanted to be known as American Bada$$ 129834765. So we asked what he thought with his encounter with Thomas . He said " Well first of all let me get this taken care of right off the bat . I am not gay I do not condone gayness . With that said I keep up on my list of wanted extremist .So I wondered in to this gay bar by accident but they have these really good umbrella drinks that I can't drink in a regular bar with out being gay you know what I mean "? " Well I was a few umbrella drinks in when this extremely flamboyant guy with a eastern accent, and bad cologne tried to start grinding on me during a disco record". "Then when I told him I was straight that I just came for the drinks .He got this look in his eye you know like "? "He wanted to rape me ". " That's when it clicked I seen this face before .I rushed home to double check my list you know cause I study it every night after Fox News". Sure enough I new it was him and it just sent chills down my spine cause I'm a patriot and I almost got raped by a wanted Isreali extremist . Im just glad there looking for his extreme gay ass. I've been cleaning all my guns . Tell'em that "! So if you see Thomas please call local authorities.
The Tribune
exc reporter :
Tyler Derdon
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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