2018 Academy Awards Cancelled Due To Mediocre Movies, Hollywood Perverts

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November 13, 2017 -- Variety reports that the 2018 Academy Awards has been cancelled. "This has been the worst year for movies since, well, 2016," said Academy Awards producer Michael De Luca. "I mean, how many crap superhero movies can be made? They're all just a protracted ad for the next one. It's ludicrous."

In addition to a slew of mediocre superhero movies and desperate Oscar-begging crap, De Luca said the spotlight on sexual predators in Hollywood forced the Academy to pull the plug on the 2018 Oscars. "There isn't enough lipstick for this pig," said De Luca. "What can we do? Every day some new allegation comes to light about some bigwig pervert. Are we supposed to have a show with a jazzy song-and-dance number and have Jimmy Kimmel crack some lighthearted jokes about rape? I can't even..."

De Luca said that he hopes some director -- preferably not Woody Allen or Roman Polanski -- creates a riveting movie about the subject of sexual predators. "If they can make it with Meryl Streep, it's a guaranteed winner should we try this again in 2019."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Nov 2017