The "I's" have it! But Don't Quote It!
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This just in! Professors at Yakima Valley College are tiring of having to track down sources cited in all written research papers. It's been rumored that instructors just don't care anymore and telling their students to just use "I" and to forget where they found their source.
When the new standards were passed on to the students, questions quickly arose to the instructors about "plagiarism" and problems that arise from it. Classes were then hurriedly dismissed with a "no comment" being the common response as the Professors practically sprinted from class. A stunned YVC student was seen passing around a newly graded biology research paper in the foyer of G.A. Hall. It clearly showed the Professor who graded it did not care and marked the student down for having cited all their sources used with hyperlinks, titles and authors names. It was also suggested that the student start using "I" more, as in its their own research.
An example given on the paper which was heavily ladened in red ink, the quote said "When Darwin was on the HMS Beagle and discovered that while exploring the Galapagos Islands, Finches had adapted differently on various Islands that were in site of each other....." (Prof. Battlebot pg 56), was crossed out and written to the side. The instructor suggested a new way to get around citing a source; "While I was on holiday in the Galapagos Islands, I noticed Finches were different from Island to Island that you could throw a stone between" (me). The stunned student argued “I have never been to the Galapagos Islands to see the Finches, nor can I declare that this as my own research!” (Super Student 1, 1/24/18).
While seeking out comments from staff in one of the many departments at YVC, one English Instructor who is close to the matter, spoke on a condition of anonymity. She confirmed "It's just too bothersome to correct all these papers and check every source. We have a life too you know? I have a horse that needs attention and I have a lot of 'Chicago Fire' on NBC to catch up on that is recorded on my DVR" (anonymous source).
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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