Latest News About the Health of English
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 41788 Shares
Here at YVCC, everybody knows that English is a peculiar and important personage. It is known as a being very important all over the world for communication. But what is happening with English? In the last past 3 years, I had been following all its movements and trying to collect information to report this news. After all the information collected what I can say is that something has to be going on with English. I’m worried! People report that English had been acting in a strange and unpredictable. It may be dangerous too.
What people report is that English has been asking weird questions, jumping from one language to another, reading backward and saying words in a different way than how they are written. We suspect that English may be very sick.
One of the interviewed people who has a really close relationship with English says that it constantly has been making questions that don’t make sense at all. She says, for example, this morning English asked, why does my nose is running? Noses running? who ask that kind of question. can you imagine your nose running? English was also arguing that it’s feet smell. Can you imagine if feet could smell? It was also making comments like “forms are filled out by being filled in” if you are filling it out how can it be filled in. See, he has to be sick or something has to be wrong with it. That was not all, English had been constantly reading backward like 16, 17, 18 it was saying sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. Is it not the teen first? Yes, definitely English has to be suffering from some kind of disorder
Another interviewed people say that one day she asked English if it likes coffee and what it answered was “I’m not into it” we all already know that it is not into it, coffee is made of coffee. What English was answering wasn't making sense. Then later people stared see that definitely, something weird was going on, English was adding "up" to almost every word that it was saying and comment that "up" has a lot of meanings. What? a two-letter word that can be added to many words, It doesn't make sense either, English is getting crazy. When the day it's looking like rain English say “it is clouding UP” and then when it is not raining for a while it says that “everything is drying UP” and when the sun comes out “it is clearing UP”. That day English was adding up’s to everything. Adding and using the same word for everything, English definitely needs help. Immediately!
Those are the most recent news about the health of English. We hope English finds help ASP, is evidence that something is going on.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.