Park House League Boys Basketball: Power Rankings (1-29-18)

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The avid fans of Park Ridge basketball were met with yet another Sunday chock full of exciting play. The Jazz started off the day with a convincing win against the Bulls, as they move to 3-0. However, don’t let their record fool you, as they have played 3 sub-par teams.

Quite the scary sight at the Wizards-Cavaliers game, as Declan Digan was rushed to the hospital after suffering a broken back from his awe-inspiring attempt at carrying the Cavs to victory. It was a close game for the first half, until the Wizards decided to stop playing around. A curious situation came up with Wizards guard Matthew “Fatty Slow” Locascio, as he was ejected, but returned for the 2nd Half. Purely speculation, but I believe there was some sort of under the table business between Locascio and the refs. Regardless, the Wizards proceeded to mop the floor with the Cavs. League “Rage Monster” Ivaylo Tochev put up yet another pitiful performance, and has fans starting to question his worth to the team.

The Pelicans certainly took last weeks 9 ranking to heart, as they absolutely locked up self proclaimed ‘MVP’ Tommy Brander. One can only assume the Raptors will continue to struggle against the rugged defense of the Celtics.

Speaking of the Celtics, they had an off day from the field, but it made no difference as they took the paltry Nuggets squad to town. This Nuggets team is just, for lack of a better word, shit. The absolute lack of athleticism was astounding.

It seems I was wrong about the Timberwolves in last weeks edition, as they layer another goose egg in their loss to the Trailblazers. This teams complete lack of chemistry and consistency instills a feeling of uncertainty among their fans.

Finally, the beef of the article, this weeks power rankings:

1. Wizards
2. Celtics
3. Jazz
4. Pelicans
5. Raptors
6. 76ers
7. Trailblazers
8. Timberwolves
9. Bulls
10. Suns
11. Nuggets
12. Kings
13. Cavaliers

Written and Edited by Celtics forward, Sean Gardiner.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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