Police Car Destroyed in Daring Jailbreak

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On January 28th of 2018, a suspect was taken into custody for robbing a Bank of America Financial Center in Milpitas, California. The suspect managed to flee officers of the Milpitas, Fremont, and San Jose police forces unbelievably with driving the that witness Bob Zimmerman describes as "Something out of a movie." And he adds on "In fact, I thought they were shooting a movie at first." The robbery occured on January 1st of 2018 in the dead of night. The suspects shot out security cameras to conceal their identity, but a few cameras which were still running managed to capture the suspects images and according to the police forces, it didn't take them long to conclude that they were part of the San Jose, California gang known as the 'Ruffstas' After escaping the police forces of these three cities, their whereabouts became unknown until on January 26th, 2018, here in Zoinsville Indiana, two of the suspects were found inebriated and high on a multitude of drugs ranging from Marijuana to Cocaine. The fact they they were alivr when Zoinsville police found them was truely miraculous. After receiving some medical treatment, they were placed in a holding cell at the Zoinsville Police Station until they could be transfered to the Indianapolis State Penitentiary on the first of February. This plan soon fell to pieces, though when members of the California gang arrived in Zoinsville and set fire to a Zoinsville Police Cruiser which appeared to be only a distraction so as the police officers ran out with fire extinguishers to put out the blazing inferno in the street these gang members went inside the jail and used an industrial grade saw to cut through the lock on the cell, freeing the inmate and all escaping with officers only noticing a 1986 Fleetwood bounder RV leaving the parking lot and speeding off down the road into the country. Police officers describe the breakout as "daring" and "not like anything we've seen before." Another officer told the Zoinsville times that the RV appeared to have TV's and computers filling the inside walls with a heavy set African American individual with a pink scarf around their head manning these computers and televisions. Police from coast to coast have been told to keep an eyeout for these individuals, but this story is exclusive to only certain news outlets. For a note to a police department in which one of their previosu crimes stated that if this was to be found on TV, they would "unleash hell" on the police departments that they have been involved with.
Zoinsville Times 2018

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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