" I'm going on a right good piss up tomorrow night " .. Declares Local kilkenny Sinn Fein Party Activist .
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Speaking yesterday , Kilkenny Sinn Fein party activist Marylou 'Armalite' McMoody ( pictured above ) declared to our Kilkenny breaking news reporter that she intends to have a right good old-fashioned piss up tomorrow ( Saturday) night. She will be celebrating Marylou McDonald becoming her partys president .
36 year old Ms McMoody only joined the party eleven weeks ago, after reading in the sun newspaper that Marylou McDonald would be becoming that partys next president.
Ms McMoody told our reporter " after reading that article about another woman with the same first name as myself was going to become leader of her political party , Sure it was only logical that I would join that same political party .."
Ms McMoody continued " I mean, what are the chances of another woman with the same first name as myself, becoming leader of her political party .. eh .. eh ..is that uncanny or what .. eh .."
The Kilkenny sinn fein party activist intends to kick off tomorrow nights celebrations with five or six quick shots of vodka " just to get the engine warmed up.." she stated , before switching to pints of lager.. When asked by our reporter how much she drank on an average night out ,Ms McMoody stated that she would usually have in the region of nine or ten pints of lager and around a dozen shots of vodka , that would be her average nights drinking .
Although Ms McMoody only joined sinn fein about eleven weeks ago, Its reported by other party members in Kilkenny that there are numerous complaints about her behaviour made to the party leadership in Dublin. Other party colleagues in Kilkenny have accused Ms McMoody of bullying and intimidation at cumann meetings , claims which Ms McMoody denies .
Sinn Fein members in Kilkenny have accused Ms McMoody of bringing a 'Baseball Bat' to cumann meetings ,even though they have requested that she stop this behaviour .
When asked about her behaviour by our breaking news reporter, Ms McMoody stated " The baseball bat is only for my own protection ,when i'm walking to and from those cumann meetings, the bat is for my own personal protection ... I have to walk through some rough areas of Kilkenny going to and from cumann meetings and the baseball bat has nothing to do with bullying or intimidating my party colleagues at those cumann meetings ".. She added " I explained all this to party HQ in Dublin and they were very understanding of my circumstances .."
The interview with Ms McMoody was abruptly cut short , when a number of uniformed gardaí entered the licensed premises where our reporter was interviewing the Kilkenny party activist .
When the gardaí entered the licensed premises yesterday, Ms McMoody bolted out a rear entrance to the premises, with two or three gardai in hot pursuit .
Our reporter has been unable to contact the Sinn Fein party activist since yesterday afternoon .
But Kilkenny Gardai have issued a description of a woman they would like to talk to in relation to a number of unprovoked assaults in various locations around the city, These assaults over various nights in the last ten weeks or so, were carried out by a drunken woman wielding a baseball bat and shouting "Brits Out" and other such slogans .
Gardaí have also confirmed to breaking news that Marylou 'Armalite' McMoody is a person of interest in their investigations regarding these unprovoked assaults ..
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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