Week 5 Power Rankings: Wizards hold off Jazz to maintain 2 spot

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Another solid week in the books with lots of close games. With the top seeded Celtics on a bye, The matchup of the week went to two of the best: Wizards vs. Jazz. Both of these teams are legit.
Today started off between a matchup between the leagues worst, the Suns and Blazers. Eww. This matchup was absolutely disgusting, almost every player in the game sucked. With that being said, it was still close. Possibly the only notable player in the game, TJ Foster, hit a 3 pointer just before the buzzer to break the tie. It is not saying much for either team considering what has happened in previous weeks. They both remain at the bottom of power rankings.
Next were the big boys (The Raptors) against the leagues embarrassment, the Kings. The Raptors showed almost no mercy scoring 93 points. The league MVP ,Brander, and Buggy lead the efforts again combining for 44 points. Nothing new here, Raptors are good, the Kings suck donkey balls.
If you thought 93 was a lot, the Cavs topped the Raptors league high by scoring 104. They beat the weak 76ers, but 104 still says something. The 3 point specialist and Rage monster lead the efforts for the Cavs as always.
The timberwolves won another game. If you remember last weeks article, I mentioned how their could possibly be some under the table business with the Twovles and Dihu. That has been officially confirmed. Disclosed members of the Twolves were seen paying off Dihu in both cash and Blowjobs. So to conclude, don't let the Timberwolves post .500 record fool you, as there only wins come against the Suns, Nuggets and Kings. It is still the same group of uncoordinated fools.
Ending the day was the primetime matchup between Liam O'Connell and the Wizards. Sorry the Jazz and the wizards. You may have heard some buzz about the "Loyola Kid" from the jazz who "doesn't miss." That is also confirmed. He has not missed a shot ever. But by the end of the game, the big 3 of Daly stoch and league pyscopath Friedman took over the hault the upset.
Power Rankings:
1) Celtics
2) Wizards
3) Jazz
4) Cavs
5) Pelicans
6) Raptors
7) Bulls
8) Blazers
9) 76ers
10) Twolves
11) Nuggets
12) Suns
13) Kings

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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