Maine South Teen Arrested; Head of Ponzie Scheme
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Early Tuesday morning on February 13th, 2018 a young 17 year old male was arrested on 3 accounts of “managing and composing a digital venmo pyramid scheme”. His name will remain disclosed due to his age, however rumors lead us to believe he went by a rather obscure alias of “Milk man”, based off his obsession of low fat skim milk, and his girlfriends foreign last name. Our staff sat down one on one with the 17 year old teen to see what was he really was devising throughout the past 8 weeks. “I was making bank. A fuck ton of cash. $1.5k a week. So I said fuck yeah man let’s gooooo and just kept at it. I headed a team of professionals as we networked through various colleges. I even saved up to buy my own milk factory where we milk pink cows for strawberry milk. It’s dope.” He will be faced for 2-7 years in a maximum security penitentiary, but because of his age will receive bail (with good behavior) after 3 years. In our final question we asked him what he will miss most about his prior life. He responded, “I mean probably the nightly foot rubs from Alexa but like honestly nothing man. Some dumb ass said he will pay me $200k if I drop the soap or some shit in the shower at prison. I don’t even know what that means but for $200k that’s a steal”. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family, friends, cows, and especially Alexa.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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