After CWG Coral Software Upgrade, Geriatric Cat Throws Up And Now Refuses to Walk on Computer Keyboards

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A local feline who for years has routinely sashayed on household computer keyboards now refuses to do so says her chief of staff, who wishes to remain anonymous.

The fourteen year old cat was sitting next to a household staff member when the staffer suddenly freaked out. The cat’s tail blew up, and she rocketed over to an irreplaceable heirloom rug and promptly threw up.

Apparently, the fracas started when the staffer navigated to the online Capital Weather Gang (CWG) AM forecast page and discovered that new commenting software known as Coral had replaced the old commenting interface. Attempts to contact the staff member, who was placed on unpaid administrative leave, were unsuccessful.

“Meow meow meow MEOW!!!” stated the feline when asked what had transpired. As a family-friendly news organization, translating the cat’s statement is not allowed.

It was later revealed that, for years, the cat would frequently walk on the computer keyboard and post comments to CWG articles. The old software would show these comments immediately, but with Coral, a page refresh is required in many instances.

According to members of the CWG online community, the feline was revered for her intuition and amateur forecasting skills.

"A total shame," said one commenter. "This didn't have to happen. There was no need for such a drastic change that now threatens to upset the sacred fabric of commenting."

When asked why the cat had such a problem with the software change, the chief of staff explained, “The feline queen of the household is way too busy taking instantaneous baths, eating invisible items in the carpet, and patrolling the premises ensuring that fuzzy blankets are available for sleeping to be bothered finding the browser refresh button.” He added that the entire house is now, “A living nightmare” as the cat’s demands have far exceeded what constitutes normal feline behavior.

“It’s a shock. We walk on egg shells now never knowing what she’ll do. Hopefully the commenting system will be rolled back to the former version so domestic peace and tranquility can once again be ours,” he said.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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