Week 7 Power rankings: Wizards take back one spot, Jazz win barely
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A week of house league basketball with many absences and multiple forfeits leaves an unexciting lack of change in this weeks rankings. A clear gap between the top two teams and the rest are starting to be realized; the Celtics and Wizards are clearly the best two teams.
The day started off with an exciting matchup between the Celtics and the Kings. Although no basketball was actually played, it was a big week for the kings. Since they are now the only winless team, they spent the week praying to Jesus Christ in hopes of getting a single win in the last few weeks.
Cavs vs. Blazers followed. The Blazers know how to hang, but they seem to shit the bed in any close game. This weeks matchup was a nail biter, and the Blazers were given a shot to win. The league Rage Monster maintained his title this week with surprisingly only one technical foul. Ivaylo first threw a ball at the head of TJ Foster, so when the refs made him take a seat, he attacked them and threw a chair. He also had a knife in his bag, but the cops were notified before anyone was stabbed. Ivaylo is now in custody. They were saved by league MVP candidate Declan Digan who totalled zero points in the victory. The Cavs show up in the matchup of the week against the Raptors at 12:00 next week.
The horrific Bulls faced off against the Raptors. The Bulls find themselves with a horseshoe up their ass this week due to the absneces of raptors stars. Even though they weren't there, Brander and Buggy combined to score 100 of the teams points. On the other side, Proclaimed allstars Cole Dow and Caiden Purcell combined for zero points. Do NOT believe the hype with these guys.
Suns won their first game against the short handed nuggets but still no one gives a fuck. Next.
Next was a beatdown between the short handed Wizards and the Pooicans. The Wizards showed how good they really are, with a convincing win without Locascio or league psycopath Evan Friedman. They played with 5 guys and really shit all over the disgusting team that should now be embarrased to show up.
The day concluded with a nailbiter, somehow. The Jazz against the 76ers. It is becoming evident that the Jazz are equivalent to a piece of poo. The hyped "stars" of Liam Oconnell, Harry Donovan and Alek Cubon are not the players they were 3 weeks ago, in fact some of them suck (cough cough cubon) This game was back and forth but litterally came down to the final second. The sixers were down one with 2 seconds to go, and when they inbounded the ball to Peter James he was on the foul line with less than a second. The Jazz caught a break as James missed both free throws. They escape another sub par team while improving to a misleading 5-1. Not long until these guys go down the shitter.
MVP of the week: Colin Daly
Power Rankings:
1) Wizards
2) Celtics
3) Cavs
4) Jazz
5) Pooicans
6) Raptors
7) 76ers
8) Bulls
9) Blazers
10) Twolves
11) Suns
12) Nuggets
13) Kings
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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