House League Power Rankings (2-25-18)

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We had limited action this week due to a numerous amount of players going to “Ducks”, presumed to be watching and feeding the animals small chunks of whole grain wheat bread.

Our first game of the day was supposed to be Celtics and Kings. However, since most of the team was at axe head lake peacefully observing the ducks and geese poop, the rest of this sorry team decided to save themselves the embarrassment. A forfeit for the Kings, who drop to 0-836, or something like that.

Next up we had to Trailblazers and the Cavaliers. The Blazers may not boast the most impressive record, but they have arguably the toughest schedule in the entire association. Matchups with the Celtics and Wizards to start, and now Raptors and Cavs would leave most teams feeling hopeless. Not those Blazers! They come out and fight there little hearts out, and almost came away with an upset this Sunday. Alas, it was Declan Digan who singlehandedly saved the Cavs in this one, all while Ivaylo Tochev sang sweet lullabies to his one and only, Gabrie, from the bench, as he ended with 5 fouls and less points.

Next we had the Raptors and Bulls. Bulls took the automatic W, as the raptors forfeited the game due to most of their team undergoing penis elongation surgery, as Dihu mandates an executive order stating in order to be eligible to play, ones johnson must surpass 3.3” in length when erect. Sadly, this means Ivaylo and TJ Foster will no longer be participating in the league games.

The Wizards only had 5 men show up to their game this Sunday against the feisty Pelicans, but it made literally no difference. They piled on the points as the thin-skinned Pelicans once again were triggered to no end. This one wasn’t even close. Wizards take the dubby.

After the Jazz put up a good fight against the Wizards, they have shown that they indeed, are just a group of bedwetters. The 76ers came within a single point of tying the game and sending it to OT, but the Jazz escape with the win

POWER RANKINGS:
1. Celtics
2. Wizards
3. Jazz
4. Pelicans
5. Raptors
6. Trailblazers
7. 76ers
8. Bulls
9. Timberwolves
10. Suns
11. Nuggets
12. Cavaliers
13. Kings

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Feb 2018