Orange County Teen Chokes on 4 cocks, required CPR

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 48504 Shares

Orange county teen, Robert Reyes, was engaging in a homosexual orgy on the night of Wednesday, February 27. He tells us that this is a frequent ordeal for him, as he interacts in a homosexual sex act almost every week. Last night was a bit different, though. What started off as night that would have just been some casual sex with his friends, escalated quickly into one of the largest gay orgies ever recorded in America's history. Robert thought this would be a good time to try a new technique that he had seen in the films called the quad-cock-gargle. This move involves having 4 dicks in your mouth at the same time and gargling milk for 30 seconds. Unfortunately, one of the cocks in his mouth was that of Robert's friend Jamaal. Jamaal brags one of the biggest cocks in the homosexual community of Orange County. Some have described Jamaal's cock as "so thick, i couldn't even fit both my hands around it", and "when i saw him pull that monster out, i ran like hell. I like being able to walk". Jamaal's penis, along with 3 others were in robert's mouth when he started choking. Jamaal's penis was so deep down robert's throat that it started going down his windpipe and he could not pull it out because the other three were making it stuck. Paramedics arrived on the scene within 11 minutes, and luckily were able to perform CPR successfully on Robert.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.