Maniac escapes prison, heading for Central Illinois
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 27615 Shares
A man named Jeremy Martinez, who escaped a prison in Indiana, was then contained in a California prison, escaped and somehow found a way to return to Central Illinois to seek revenge against an old co-worker.
We have no idea how Mr. Martinez traveled all the way to Illinois from California," Officer Jim Malone spoke out. "But we will do our best to partner up with the police force of Central Illinois (Peoria, Bloomington-Normal, Pontiac) and bring this criminal to justice."
Jeremy Martinez was charged with motor vehicle theft, armed robbery, and attempted murder against the co-worker who will not be named to to privacy issues.
Police don't know why he did these actions. They are currently hosting a search party for Jeremy. People are advised to not talk to this man, and if you see him, stay away and call the police department. If you see him approaching your home, lock doors, shut windows, turn off the lights and keep everything quiet, including TV, radio, phone, other people, etc. Call 911 if Jeremy Martinez is spotted.
If worst comes to worst, you are permitted to use handheld weapons against Jeremy. Stay safe.
Jeremy is 31 years of age, about 5'4, and has a broad face. If this man is spotted, call 911 immediately. He is considered armed and dangerous. If possible, stay away from this man.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.