College English Class Proficient in Wingdings
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Shannon Hopkins, a professor at Yakima Valley College, has been teaching an obscure yet promising new subject to her students: the art of Wingdings.
Wingdings, created in 1990 by Microsoft, is a digital writing font available in Microsoft Office software. Letters and numbers are represented by a variety of different symbols in this font, proving to be difficult for most people to decipher. Hopkins, however, decided that this needed to change.
Hopkins began teaching how to read and write in this mysterious font in her English 102 class back in 2015. She wanted her students to immerse themselves in the culture of Wingdings, but they were very reluctant at first to put in the effort to learn the font.
“Initially, they said that Wingdings is useless and a waste of time,” said Hopkins about her students. “They said they’d rather learn how to read and write in Emojis because Emojis are becoming the world’s most prevalent written language.”
Hopkins managed to convince her students that they needed to devote their time to learning Wingdings because of its historical significance in the pre-smartphone era. She also threatened to give all of her students F’s.
Hopkins decided to teach Wingdings to her college students the same way that one would teach the alphabet to kindergarten students. By associating sounds with symbols and practicing tracing those symbols, Hopkins’ students became increasingly comfortable reading and writing in Wingdings. Hopkins also assigned each student twelve hours of homework each day to make sure they had the resources to constantly improve their Wingdings skills.
“I haven’t really slept in a few weeks,” said one student from Hopkins’ 2018 English 102 class. “I also don’t really remember the regular alphabet anymore, I haven’t used it in a long time.”
Another student from the same class feels similarly: “I’m pretty sure my brain has been rewired to only do anything in Wingdings. It’s all I ever think about. Wingdings is my life now.”
After three years of teaching Wingdings, Hopkins’ is proud of the progress her students have made in learning and appreciating the font as a way of written communication and as an art form. She has even created an exam called the Wingdings Proficiency Exam that, when taken and passed, gives the test-taker the title of Certified Wingdings Practitioner. Hopkins’ next goal is to get her criteria for a Bachelor’s Degree of Arts in Wingdings approved by the Yakima Valley College Board of Educators.
“It’s a lofty goal,” said Hopkins, “but it is crucial that these students have the opportunity to study and pursue Wingdings in order to preserve its historical significance and spread the influence of such an innovative form of art and communication. Wingdings must stay alive.”
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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