Fla Man Upstages Trump Admin; Uses Personal Contacts to Advance NKorea Talks

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Wash DC/Honolulu – In any other DC administration’s era, what recently transpired in Honolulu, HI would have been unthinkable.

An unidentified Florida businessman may have made diplomatic history by using his personal and business contacts to get North Korea’s Kim Jong Un to the nuclear bargaining table.

Known only as “Agent McGarrett,” pictured here at a Honolulu, HI hotel with Dr. Woe Fat, Beijing, this Florida entrepreneur apparently enticed Fat to a meeting–where Fat was surprised to be able to meet with one of Kim Jong Un’s right hand Generals, Nuc Em Soon. (It turns out that ‘McGarrett’ had previously dated the daughter of another Chinese General, who happens to be friends with both Fat and General Soon—who sits at Kim Jong Un’s side).

In this wild web of connections, ‘McGarrett’ orchestrated a secret meeting at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel wherein General Soon agreed to Fat’s (and mainly McGarrett’s) terms—that all NKorea sanctions would be lifted, if Kim Jong Un agreed to never use nuclear weapons on the states of Florida or Hawaii—but okay for the rest of the U.S. to remain open game.

This reporter’s investigations uncovered information that McGarrett has an estranged Chinese national wife living somewhere in the Aloha State, perhaps a motive for the businessman’s intense negotiating.

Additionally, confidential sources disclosed that McGarrett had tempted Fat to the Honolulu meeting to ostensibly seal a land deal they had previously worked on together. A prime, Oahu, beach-cliff property the two had looked at was on the market again, but McGarrett had good and bad news for his partner: the $10 million property could now be bought for only $5 million, McGarrett had informed Fat. But when asked by Fat what the bad news was, McGarrett had replied, “They want a thousand dollars down.”

Latest sources indicate that Fat has plans to emigrate to Hawaii, and McGarrett declared that he’s sure to stay put in Florida. “Now more than ever,” declared the nouveau statesman.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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