June 10, 2018 Fillmore County Long Time Teacher Uses Fingers To Sexually Assault Senior Grad. By Stephanie Granderson

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A teacher has been charged with First Degree Sexual Assault at a graduation party after allegedly inserting her fingers into a high school graduate’s anus.

Karen Mortenson, 54, of Lanesboro, a twenty-nine year veteran English teacher at Lanesboro High School, stated of the incident as she was taken into custody, “The kid had been fu**ing around in class for four years. It was about time that he got fu**ed back.”

According to witnesses, Mortenson gave graduate Dean Franklin, 18, a hug at the party. During the embrace, Mortenson slipped her hand inside the back of his shorts and plunged her index and middle fingers into Franklin’s anus.

In a statement by Franklin, “I didn’t know what was happening. It was shocking. I was like, weird, because she twisted them inside me. She had to be in about mid-fingers.” Franklin went on to state that the incident was embarrassing but not altogether bad. “I think I said something like ‘whoa,’ then I was like, ‘huh, not that bad.’”

Gavin Detmer, a witness to the probe, stated “I had my phone and I was taking videos of the party. I saw her put her hand down his shorts, saw the Dean Machine jump backwards. Then I was like, I want a graduation hug too.”

Formal charges will be filed at the Fillmore County Court on Monday.

Principal Jerry Swenson could not be reached for a formal comment, but Superintendent Gus Davidson was reached by phone. Davidson stated that he had no comment and will be discussing the incident with the school board pending further investigation.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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