USDA under fire after cat feces traced to Mississippi River towns.

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The United States Department of Agriculture is facing legal challenges ahead after a new discovery made in southeast Iowa. Researchers from 6 independent universities found abnormal levels of feline feces in the water located in cabins along the Missisippi River between Fort Madison and Burlington Iowa.

Samples of water were taken to several laboratories with conclusive results finding that the water in this area has been contaminated for at least 3 years. The toxicity levels are not high enough to effect the human immune system, yet the discovery has left lawmakers scurrying.

"These cabin folks are just trying to get away from their wives and go fishin... Now we have to tell them they've been drinking and using cat shit for years."

Filtration devices were not made to absorb the particles associated with this kind of waste. This along with several other oversight issues will create a legal catastrophe for the department.

The source of the feces is unknown. There are current studies correlating the likelihood that men in cabins own dogs, which could be directly linked to cats in some way.

" So far we have gathered that after prolonged use of cat shit water there are several likelihood increases including: Getting grandchildren, driving a truck to your cabin, not hunting quite as much and awkward prolonged erections at inappropriate times that tends to start after a few years and lasts forever"

One cabin is suspected to be the epicenter of leakage. When officers approached they found an empty cabin with only a dead mouse on the floor. Nearby was a big mounted fish. Both indeed related to cats but so far there is still no explanation.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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