Concerns Mount For Procedure Users

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Worldwide adoption of the Procedure continued this week, despite urgent warnings from international health agencies to refrain. A recent survey indicated at least 80 of women in the United States were post-Procedure, with an additional 10 indicating they “may undergo it” in the near future.

The quick adoption is in spite of increasingly strong warnings from medical professionals about possibly impaired performance in reasoning and other mental faculties.

“What we have seen in the past several weeks has been extremely alarming,” said Duke medical director Tyler Sellers. “While the mechanism is still unclear, the results are not -- Procedure women show a marked preference for sex above almost anything else.”

Recent concern has highlighted a large increase in neural activity in the part of the brain that responds most heavily to childcare.

“Baby brain is a real thing, but the effects have always been fairly mild,” said doctor Halid Stevens. “This is a sustained sense of calm, serenity, but also what you might call spaciness, lack of attention, intellectually poor performance. And its constant.”

Congress is expected to consider a measure to ban all medical uses of the Procedure on Thursday, following the lead of a number of US States, and a number of other countries.

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