Lemons into Lemonade: Local Government moves Shark from Lake to Fountain.
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Somerset, Ky - What does a local government do when a shark threatens its community’s tourism industry? Solution, put the shark in your community’s decorative fountain to deter unwanted fountain swimming. That is exactly what the local governments of the City of Somerset and Pulaski County Kentucky did recently.
When the internet spread news of a shark inhabiting the Kentucky 53,000 surface acre manmade freshwater impound, Lake Cumberland, local leaders feared tourism in the area would drop. “We feared It would be like the mayor scenes in the in the original jaws movie - funny jacket and all”, said on local leader. “Somehow we would have to convince everyone that the lake was safe despite the fear of the shark before the upcoming holiday [July 4th]. Nobody believes local politicians when they say ‘everything is fine’”
But at the same time the community could not keep people from wading or swimming in the fountain pool in the heart of downtown. “Wading in the pool caused us a three-fold problem; it was unsafe, caused damage to the fountain, and lowered the image of the community,” said Somerset City Council member John Adams.
Both City and County governments were slow to find a solution to the unwanted fountain dipping. “Telling people something they don’t want hear, even if it is the truth and especially in an election year, is not what local government is about” said Adams.
So when Adams heard about the Shark in Lake Cumberland, he saw an opportunity. “If I could get the shark out of lake where you want swimming, and put the beast in fountain pool where you don’t want swimming I knew I could kill two birds with one stone, and more importantly be a shoo-in for re-election.”
Many wondered how it could be done? But Adams, a lawyer, knew how. Adams texted the shark with a deal, “move to the fountain, and the local governments will feed you and you can eat anyone entering the fountain - as long as there is no mess.” When asked if the council member (and counsel) had any resistance from the predator, Adams grins and explains, “no, not at all, sharks and lawyers have always understood each other.” “You know the joke, why did the shark not bite the lawyer - profession courtesy.” Adams’ plan has worked well.
The shark and Adams have become good friends. Like a dolphin trainer, Adams can get the shark to do tricks like jumping out of the pool with a ferocious scowl. Adams laments, “yes he is a man eating predator, but he is also kind of softy if you don’t get too close”.
Adams also offered, “a wonderful byproduct is that the ‘Shark Fountain’ has in itself increased tourism dollars to community. The tax take from those new tourism dollars is partially paying for the shark food. If it keeps growing the project will be 100 self sustainable in future years. I have named the shark “TIF” (normally “tax increment financing”) which is short for Tax Increment Fish.”
“Local governments use the TIF sustainability idea to promote projects all the time, few really work out as promised. But we got one in the flesh, cartilage, and -well- blood here”, said Adams proudly.
(Hoax, Humor and Satire)
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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