Detroit Doctors Making Crack For Patients and It’s Legal
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Doctors at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, Michigan are creating a new form of crack to sell legally in crack dispensaries to help addicts get through everyday life.
Crack has long been the poor man's cocaine. The almighty rock! Protesters in Detroit are chanting sayings such as, “Fuck that, it ain't coming back”... meaning, they’re getting bad dope. When they put their lighters to the spoon or aluminum foil doctors say, it’s not hardening up for the people.
Doctors in Detroit have now started manufacturing batches upon batches of what they are calling "Get chu right" (GCR) is NOT covered by insurance companies. GCR comes in different doses. Each dose allows the abilities of the patient to increase. Every patient is different, so we are still learning how dosage increases in GCR works.
GCR is a prescription drug only given by Detroit doctors. They say the results they are seeing are amazing. Some of the benefits include people putting down their electronic devices which enables them to get off the couch and do actual physical activities. We’re seeing children that are now being fed regularly by parents and not older siblings, child restraints are being put on and the population of roaches has declined. These benefits are occurring in the patients that were prescribed smaller doses.
Increased doses of GCR have grown men moving around and getting "their shit together". Henry Ford Hospital Chief of Staff, Dr. Willie Stroker says they are seeing more individuals smoking this GCR do big things. Some patients reported that they felt the need to become productive members of society within 48 hours of taking the increased dose. We expect the welfare recipients to be less and less as more people are introduced to GCR. Hopefully this will also stop the problem of fraudulent LINK card usage with people buying cases of water to donate to baby showers instead of purchasing food items for their own consumption.
It has also been confirmed that GCR will cause the weight of a grown woman to go from 150 lbs. to 240 lbs. in ONE DAY! Weaves aren't nearly as crooked, closures are starting to get closer!
The revenue brought in by Detroit's tobacco consumers is at an all time high which is great for contributing to the stocking of supplies needed for the crack to be prepared with the highest grade of ingredients.
The production of that good batch of GCR has also joined forces with Pyrex, a very well known dishware and popular for its durable glass. A new line of crack pipes will be added as part of the regular housewares product line.
Doctors say this is all of the information that they will release at this time due to the premature stage of the manufacturing. Detroit Fox News 7 will keep viewers updated once testing is complete.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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