Stari vs Mladi - Can The Stari Do It Again?

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The sky above the United Soccer Center was dark grey with flashes of thunder as the rain-, sweat- and euphoria-soaked Stari team lifted the Cup as an almighty downpour pierced a sticky, humid evening in the City of Mississauga. The Stari came back from a devastating game 1 loss, to win back to back games, and the Championship. This was the scene months ago when the Stari lifted the coveted USC Stari vs Mladi Cup. Fast forward to today and the scene is very different.

As we stand on the cusp of this colossal football evening. An evening that in terms of prestige, may even surpass the Fifa World Cup and Uefa Champions league. One must ask, are the Stari ready?

The Stari don’t have much time to bounce back from the comprehensive dismantling they received at the Norval over 35 Tournament. All members of the team participated in the tournament. Although they were spread out on different teams the results were the same. None made it passed the quarterfinals. “Disappointing”, “Humiliating”, “Slabo” were some words thrown around the Stari Camp after the tournament to describe the sub par performance by all. There were such high expectations from the Stari but ultimately fell short.

Why the Stari will come up short against the Mladi.

After leading his side to the Cup coach Mile found himself in unfamiliar territory. Overnight he became a coaching sensation. Garnering praise and attention from the world’s top clubs. The offers came pouring in; Real Madrid, Juventus, Bayern Munich, and Chelsea were all interested but it was Arsenal who were front runners to secure the services of the big man from Lika. Arsene Wenger himself publicly endorsed Mile, however after much deliberation, and to the disappointment of Wenger and Arsenal fans worldwide he signed with CSC Mississauga of the CSL. It is no secret that where Mile goes scandal is sure to follow, it didn’t take long for Mile to be accused of stealing training equipment from an amateur non for profit church affiliated club to maximize profits for his current private club. Mile has also left several of the Stari senior players "angry and frustrated" with his man-management this season, with sources telling ESPN FC his decision to strip Mike Lorkovic of the vice-captaincy is merely the latest episode that has bemused many within the dressing room.

The attention of the world was on captain Tommy Twinkle Toes Novosel that fateful evening when he led the Stari to the cup. A magisterial performance by Novosel, who not only won the playoff cup but also the league cup. Cementing his place in USC lore forever, as the first to win the coveted double. How can he top that? His performances since have shown us he can’t. Age and alcoholism have taken there toll on the player, who is known for his temper and violent outburst. Novosel has caused thousands of dollars of damage to training equipment with his explosive inordinate episodes usually targeting nets and goal posts. Can Novosel balance his chi and find an internal equilibrium during the match, or will his emotions get the best of him…… again.

The hero from last year’s cup final, Dirty Dan. Coming of a miraculous 2016/17 over 35 season, he made is presence felt in games 2 and 3 after missing out on game 1 due to an injury. It seems that this was the pinnacle of the player’s career at the time being compared to a young Predrag Mijatovic. Since then he has been borderline-catastrophic, bust ups with teammates, walking off the field during a game due to “not being passed the ball enough”. Scoring a horrendous own goal in the over 35 league finals to lose the title. Injuries and his off the field addiction to landscaping have all negatively affected the player. This reporter is reminded of the legend of Icarus. Dan was flying to high, and he got burnt. A serious attitude change is needed from the player for the Stari to have any chance.

The target man, the big man up front, none other then Dave Radman. The imposing striker made his presence known in games 2 and 3 with emphatic strikes to secure the title. What has happened to the striker since? A dip in form is obvious with the Norval tournament being a prime example. I believe this goes deeper then a simple dip in form. Age and a rigorous daily commute are starting to weigh on the striker emotionally and physically which is undeniable affecting him on the pitch. Missing the opening ceremonies and first game of the USC Mali Championship is very uncharacteristic and a cause for concern. Should the Stari be questioning the commitment of the big man?

Robbie the Iceman Perkovic has been a staple of the Stari team since inception. He is a top class forward and playmaker. On the field The Iceman is a model footballer. “A coach’s dream” is how Ciro Blazevic described the forward. It’s his off field antics that are placing him in the spotlight. Robbie has been spotted all summer at local watering hole “Father Kamber Park” day in, day out, drinking, smoking and engaging in behavior unbecoming of a footballer who is role model for our youth. It is rumored that the player took a one month hiatus from club to indulge in illicit behavior dubbing it “THE SUMMER OF ROBBIE.” A once great player who has succumb to life’s temptations, can he find a way to banish his demons and return to peak form?

From hero to zero is the headline that sums up Mike “The Zec” Lorkovic’s season so far. After a heroic defensive performance in the cup, to being shamefully stripped of the vice captaincy. How could a once magnificent player fall so far, so fast? The answer is simple, lack of commitment. No one man is bigger than the team. Since the cup win, Lorkovic has shown little desire to play mali. Missing a record number of games and practices have shown his manager he is not the passionate, intense, give it all player he once was. For the sake of the stari I hope that Lorkovic can find his passion again, and soon. When on his game, he is a defensive rock. Fortunately for the Mladi it doesn’t look like that passion will return any time soon which was blatantly evident when he blew off the opening ceremonies and USC Mali Season Opener.

The Stari also have the option of calling back some on loan players, currently players on loan include.

Marko “Grubs” Grubesic, who is on loan in Montreal. I doubt that calling back Grubs would help the stari at this point. If this were 5 years ago he would be a definite boost, his skill, energy and positivity were a plus to any team. These days the player is more concerned with make up conventions and touring vineyards with his wife.

Paul Grguric, a name that resonates in soccer aficionado’s world wide. A once household name, and true ambassador of the beautiful game. Unfortunately since signing his multi-million dollar sponsorship deal with Metamucil© he is more interested in preserving his new found playboy lifestyle of fast cars, endless exotic travels and questionable sexual partners. Fortunately for the Mladi the ship has sailed for this one time great.

Davor Mulig – N/A (He is a hockey player now)

So the question remains, do the Stari have a chance?

Expectations are low in the Stari Camp. The depth of the Stari team has too many holes that need to be filled. Coupled with the mental and physical exhaustion of the Norval Tournament and add the bounty of bright young talent that the Mladi poses. In the end it will be too much to handle for the aging side and provide a glimpse into a much brighter over 35 future.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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