Obesity In Hunterdon County On The Rise

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 18693 Shares

In The United States around 1 in 3 Americans is Obese and struggling with its physical ramifications. Almost all of us know someone with this issue and here in Hunterdon County a North Hunterdon High School graduate is that someone. Ernest Monaco II has always struggled with his weight but just recently has it truly taken a toll on him. Weighing in at 317 pounds Ernie can't complete simple tasks without the assistance of his mother. "I dress him and help him get to the toilet since he can't walk without support" His mother told reporters. She explained that he couldn't even put on his compression socks to keep the fluid out of his legs by himself. "I think I'm fine! Oh god I love pizza. The greasy cheese runs down my chin and my neck. Its an erotic experience" Ernie told us during an interview. One thing is certain, if he doesn't clean up his diet he will have much more to worry about, than just wiping melted cheese off his flabby tits.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.