First Man on Mars!

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New China News Agency, Beijing, People's Republic of China.

Xing Bei Lang, Director of the China Space Agency, today announced at a press conference the surprise news that a Chinese Mission to Mars had been undertaken in secrecy and had reached the red planet.

During the press conference, a live video stream was made with Mars, including a brief interview with Colonel Deng Xiang, the commander of the mission, who made the first steps for mankind on a different planet.

President Xi Jinping was connected to the video stream. He congratulated the astronauts and the China Space Agency and declared that this heralded a new age of mankind.

The China Space Agency has released a data package about its surprise mission which academics and scientists are poring over, across the globe.

Colonel Deng said: "It is a great honour to be the first to set foot upon Mars. With this achievement, China now stands at the forefront of space exploration."

The mission includes both military and civilian personnel, most of whom are engineers and scientists. Director Xing stated that the mission on Mars would last several weeks, collecting valuable data about the planet which was not possible through the use of probes.

The return trip will take several months. It is expected that there will be extensive festivities upon the astronauts return.

Director Xing declined to answer a question about future Mars missions but it can only be inevitable, now China has led the way.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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