Neil Armstrong to Rest in Space

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On August 25, 2012, the first man to walk on the moon passed away. His family longed to honor his final wish: to be scattered on the surface of the moon.

The request might seem simple enough. Send up his ashes on a space expedition and release the ashes. However, such a request had never before been made, nor had the legitimacy of honoring such a request ever been considered.

After six arduous years of legal grandiosity, the lunar hero will finally be able to rest on the moon. On October 8, a federal judge ruled in favor of allowing Armstrong's ashes to be reunited with the surface of the moon on the grounds that "Armstrong served his country and the world when he took that giant step for mankind. We owe it to his spirit to respect his last request to be laid to rest among the stars for eternity."

The ruling stipulates that others wishing to be scattered in outer space will not be afforded the same privilege. Armstrong's request is "a final honor for a unique human being whose valor and burial will never be replicated."

The remains of Armstrong will be transported to the moon on the Space X mission schedule for early January, 2019. His family will watch the ceremonial scattering of the ashes at Cape Canaveral, Florida on a 50' by 75' screen telecast from the surface of the moon. The ceremony will not be televised for all Americans, but the family stated, "For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request. Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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