How to: Make Pot Roast instead of a Film
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 55631 Shares
From the Coen brothers to anyone making their first pot roast, the approach is similar: determine EXACTLY what you require, and no more.
Ingredients
1 boneless beef chuck-eye or other chuck roast (3 to 4 pounds)
2 teaspoons pepper
2 teaspoons salt, divided
2 tablespoons canola oil
2 medium onions, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 celery ribs, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme
2 bay leaves
1 cup dry red wine or reduced-sodium beef broth
2 cups reduced-sodium beef broth
1 pound small red potatoes, quartered
4 medium parsnips, peeled and cut into 2-inch pieces
6 medium carrots, cut into 2-inch pieces
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
Salt and pepper to taste
The guy who never knew how to cook 30 years ago now has a son who’s making pot roast. And this son now has his own children, who will have access to delicious roasts and go to bed every night full of minced garlic. Tastes are evolving. People have more to aspire to.
Directions
Preheat oven to 325°. Pat roast dry with a paper towel; tie at 2-in. intervals with kitchen string. Sprinkle roast with pepper and 1-1/2 teaspoons salt. In a Dutch oven, heat oil over medium-high heat. Brown roast on all sides. Remove from pan.
Add onions, celery and 1/2 teaspoon salt to the same pan; cook and stir over medium heat 8-10 minutes or until onions are browned. Add garlic, tomato paste, thyme and bay leaves; cook and stir 1 minute longer.
Add wine, stirring to loosen browned bits from pan; stir in broth. Return roast to pan. Arrange potatoes, parsnips and carrots around roast; bring to a boil. Bake, covered, until meat is fork-tender, 2-2-1/2 hours.
Remove roast and vegetables from pan; keep warm. Discard bay leaves; skim fat from cooking juices. On stovetop, bring juices to a boil; cook until liquid is reduced by half (about 1-1/2 cups), 10-12 minutes. Stir in vinegar and parsley; season with salt and pepper to taste.
Remove string from roast. Serve with vegetables and sauce.
When you’re young, you think you have to make a complicated roast, you have to put this and that in it. Sometimes you’re afraid to say ‘I want to make something just like my Dad used to.’ Well, forget that. All pot roasts have been done at least once, so if you want to remake a pot roast go ahead and do it. Update it with your own eye, your own experiences, your own best cut of meat. Trust what YOU want to do.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.