Pitbulls Responsible For Every Dog-Related Child Death -- Nationwide Euthanasia On Ballot

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Independent Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders announces his plans to run for the 2020 Presidential Election. In his exclusive interview with Fox News, Sanders explains one of the primary goals he intends to reach while in office is a nationwide roundup of all Pit bull and Staffordshire Terrier dogs; this may also include Rottweilers in the future. The purpose of this mandatory collection of these violent and deadly dogs would to execute each one through involuntary euthanasia. Supporters of Sanders have already independently raise nearly $1,000,000 to begin funding this justified cause.

Although likely under-reported, in the 13-year period of 2005 through 2017, canines killed 433 Americans. Pit bulls contributed to 66 percent (284) of these deaths. Combined, Pit bulls and Rottweilers contributed to 76 percent of the total recorded deaths. In 2015, more than 28,000 people underwent reconstructive surgery as a result of being bitten by dogs, this number has risen to 34,000 in 2018 to date. Most alarming is the observation that when attacks come from unfamiliar dogs, the pit bull was responsible for 60 percent and 63 percent of all injuries and ocular injuries, respectively. Preliminary research indicates traumatic ocular injuries from Pit bulls have a 87 percent more likelihood to lead to Cataracts later in life.

In an ongoing study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania Ryan Veterinary Hospital, they have already concluded that Pit bull eradication is the only possible way to protect the American people and infants. During a clandestine interview with researcher Dr. Lukas Wurner, he observes, "the necessary steps must be taken to abolish these breeds, Schindler's List style." Dr. Wurner has actually contacted Senator Sanders volunteering to lead the nationwide euthanasia efforts. He claims willingness to perform the actions of putting the violent dogs down at a reduced rate of only $34 per animal. Wurner also stated, "I would like to contribute to this worthy cause by making them suffer as much as possible during the process."

If you would like to contribute to these efforts monetarily, please contact Senator Sanders' office directly at (202) 224-5141.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Dec 2018