Triton alum Brandon Haines to replace Trojan head coach Ron Brown after shocking relocation

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2010 Triton graduate and former member of the Trojan coaching staff Brandon Haines has been named Head Coach for the Trojans in wake of Browns relocation. The decision was made at a board meeting on Wednesday, Jan 2nd 2019. In the words of Ron Brown -“This was a very tough decision for the entire program, but after our first three choices politely declined we knew he would be a yes.” Brown will be coaching and teaching at Elwood this coming semester and has nothing but gratitude for the students, teachers, and administrators at Triton Jr. Sr. High School. When questioned about the new position Haines replied- “I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was 8 years old, this program will not be disappointed I can f****** guarantee it.” The Trojans are heading into next season as heavy favorites to win the conference and even another sectional title, and we are all very excited to see what this new coach can bring to the table. -Phil Smith, inkFreeNews

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Jan 2019