Krispy Kreme Passes on Navarre

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Winston-Salem, NC - Krispy Kreme announced today that after months of negotiations with local investors, it has decided to not open a franchise in Navarre. Citing poor community leadership, demographics and unanticipated costs that would drastically affect the franchises return on investment.

With a large yankee carpetbagger demographic that favors the cake base Dunkin' Donuts makes the profitability outlook less than stellar. We could not see overcoming the lack of quality palette in the area.

The fact Navarre has two chambers makes dealing with local profit mongers a nasty business, especially the older one. Once we announced that we handle our marketing in-house, word was leaked to us that their local publisher had made plans to attack our Navarre investors in the media, and we just could not allow that to happen.

The least of our issues was with the Water system folks. They went above and beyond our expectations to work with us on the tap fees. While the cost was more than we anticipated or hoped for, we would have made that up within a few short months in an ideal location. Unfortunately, the issues already identified as problematic with Navarre, would not allow for the return on investment we would like to see.

We tried to include the local county commissioner in the negotiations, but we could never find him. Our local investors admitted they didn’t vote for him, so we shouldn’t expect a warm welcome anyway, so we stopped pursuing him.

At this point, we are leaning towards taking the assets we have already invested and move them to opening another location in Fort Walton Beach or Mary Esther. We have already discussed with our corporate partners at Cheerwine and Bojangles that Navarre, despite its population is too diverse and unhinged to market towards and they should forgo their future plans in the area. Despite the local jobs growth this would have provided, in the long run it would have hurt our profits and more importantly our brand reputation.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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