BREAKING: PEPSICO FOUND TO CONTAIN ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES
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By Tracy Cambell (11/01/2019 at 15:54)
If you know anyone who uses PepsiCo products or their Caffeine pills, tell them to stop immediately and contact their GP to discuss their future.
A new study released by the University of Dorchester, has revealed that the artificial sweetener used by the American owned PepsiCo company contain trace amounts of addictive substances, while their over the shelf Caffeine pills contain large amounts. The main substance found was Benzoylmethylecgonine Type RETA or as it known more popularly "Cocaine" or "Coke". RETA type is known as the more stable version of the drug as it has minimal effects on a person's state of mind, basically avoiding the delirious state known as "being high" and allowing the person to go about their day as a unknowing high functioning drug addict.
The FDA is currently unable to take action, due to the recent government shutdown, allowing the PepsiCo company a virtual free reign.
The European EFSA has already implemented measures to stop or recall all products containing these addictive substances, but this does not include the UK.
The UK have, due to the upcoming BREXIT, over the past 12 months slowly terminated their contracts with European government agencies, the EFSA contract having been terminated as early as April of 2018, meaning the UK is now the only first-world country where these addictive products are still sold by public companies.
The newly formed British Food Agency (BFA), have been unable to effectively implement their action plan, due to staffing and financial issues. Many in Britain fear the BFA are to inexperienced to handle the issue and a there has been a public outcry to let the EFSA handle the case, and implement a partial takeover, so that they can gain experience.
PepsiCo has released a public statement that they are currently working together with relevant agencies to combat the issue, and has halted the production of all their products containing the addictive substances.
If a loved one or a friend exhibits below Symptoms, their may are probably habitual users of one of PepsiCo's addictive products:
- Habitual use of a PepsiCo product (nearly daily basis)
- Light sensitivity and in some cases reduced eyesight resulting in Myopia (nearsightedness)
- Headaches after prolonged disuse of a PepsiCo product
- Reduced heat retention (cold all the time)
- Reduced sleep (2 to 4 hours a day)
- Highly irritable
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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